Question du Jour: PruCan
by DEUTALiA
Summary: Another one? Yep. The Queen asks Matthew to do a mass fanservice questionnaire with Gilbert. There's no way this is harmless nationalism anymore. Ask your questions around an adjacent plot and simply enjoy the responses ;D (HIATUS)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N -** So I've just decided to contribute to the Ask-the-pairing-fanservice. There may be some out there for PruCan, but I haven't seen any (and if there are, hopefully mine won't hit too close to home with similar content or something anyone'll accuse me of stealing)**.  
Disclaimer** - Hetalia _ist nicht meins_ (Axis Powers _oder_ World Series). _Schade._**  
Rules/Guidelines** - I don't have limits put up or in mind at the moment. Go crazy with the questions (Ratings K-M). The only thing I'll ask is that the questionnaire is at least predominantly PruCan-centric. Otherwise, have fun!

* * *

A disheveled Matthew sighed, finally setting the fresh restock of paperwork on his desk, arms maneuvering upward above his head as he balances his cellphone between his cheek and shoulder, a satisfying pop resounding throughout the otherwise empty expanse of the office.

"Yes, Al, I am serious."

Alfred's on the other line (and has been for at least fifteen minutes now), laughing all the while at something so-

"How is this a laughing matter to you? I'm being put out in the open, in public. All my personal business. My life. Everything."  
Matthew - in the midst of his brother's hoarse response - reluctantly glances at his computer on his desk: Off, and not on, but for once the most intimidating inanimate device he's ever been obligated to spend so much time in a room with.

_**"Dude, this is just too funny."**_

"It really isn't though."

_**"How much more interesting can you get though, bro?"**_

Always so charming. And when he _visits_; just fun.

"Gee, thanks."

That chair looks awfully comfortable right about now. Better than standing . . .

_**". . . could be good for you is all I'm sayin', dude. Just try-"**_

"Ugh, sorry, I dropped the phone. What were you saying?"

_**"Seriously?"**_

"Yeah. I'm exhausted. I just really had to sit down. Just . . . start over?"

_**"I think you should give it a shot. You'll never get a chance like this again."**_

"You still haven't explained to me how that's a good thing, Al."

Good God is his skin ever oily today. This is the most picking he's done at these random blemishes in a week than all month. The one on his nose has been burning since this morning, and probably swollen. Hm.

"I'm being asked to speak to the _public_. And not just that either. It's a mass questionnaire."

_**"I don't see what the problem is."**_

He scoffs, massaging fingertips ripping from his scalp (that was also dry a lot of the time now).

"You wouldn't. I just . . . I don't know . . . I guess I just feel it's ironic, y'know. Suddenly it's mandatory I do this international fanservice for billions of strangers out of nowhere. I've never complained about being ignored or being accused of being other people - or at least I've _tried_ not to - but I still think it's a little ridiculous I've adapted to all of it, just for people to turn around too late and then wanna get to know me . . ."

_**". . . Dude . . . ugh, how'm I even suppose to respond to somethin' like that? Did she give you a **__**reason**__** why she thought it'd be a good idea at least?"**_

"Nationalism? . . . I'm just gonna have to decline. Respectfully. That's just i-"

_**"Just take a chance, Mattie. What's the worst that could-"**_

"Hang on, that's Gil calling me," he blinks.

_**"Call me back then."**_

"Yeah, ok."

* * *

This really is not a good idea. But I can't say I wasn't expecting it. Gil's plane is landing today anyway. For a few seconds, I just let my phone ring; the picture I'd taken of Gil just before he and Ludwig's play against Feli, Lovino and Romeo* in Warsaw showing up on top of the equally just as wacky and typical contact name (obviously 'Awesome').

I just barely notice I'm smiling, because the picture truly is ridiculous; with Gil baring his teeth doing some poor imitation of some kind of snarl with his fist stuck out closest to the camera in some one-sided bro-fist gesture. (At least that's what he and Al call it. I still haven't figured out why they bug Berwald about it as much as they do). The cream of the crop though is what's most disturbing about the whole image: Gil had just barely managed to stuff half a soccer ball under his jersey, giving him some bloated appearance around his stomach. I thought that was funny.

It's enough at least to get me to answer at least.

_**"Birdie?"**_

"Hey, you."

_**"Hey. Miss me?"**_

"Obviously." I really have.

We talk for a bit - or, really I just let Gil do most of the talking about this and that while he's been gone (which really just means I've always been good at procrastinating).

_**"But vhat's been going on vith you?"**_

I've always been good at procrastinating. Really good.

_**"Birdie? You there?"**_

"G-Gil . . ."

_**"Ja?"**_

"The . . . Queen wants us to do a . . . an uhm . . . international m-mass questionnaire. Starting tomorrow. As . . . a-as a couple."

Al lies a lot better than me though.

* * *

**A/N**- I'd no idea writing in first-person was so easy xD Well anyway, finished. Bring on the questions. They can be for Mattie, Gil or myself. I don't mind. S'Up to you.

*/I've heard this is one of Seborga's (one of the three Vargas brothers) OC names. I've also heard Roman is a possibility.

~Mach's gut! Tschüß! :D


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer -** Hetalia _ist nicht meins_ (Axis Powers_ oder_ World Series)._ Schade_**_._****  
Rules/Guidelines -** I don't have limits put up or in mind at the moment. Go crazy with the questions (Rating K-M). The only thing I'll ask is that the questionnaire is at least predominantly PruCan-centric.

* * *

Gil's plane had arrived a half an hour later after that, which was fine considering the amount of work Matthew was at least able to get halfway done in the time-span. For the most part he wasn't completely thrown off by the idea of he and Gil being some literal . . . trending topic of sorts around the world. It honestly could do them both some good. And . . . they could use the attention; especially him (which he hoped he wouldn't regret admitting).

Matthew frowned, brow creasing slightly at his third time stumbling writing his own practiced personal signature on a particular poll. He really was nervous. But why shouldn't he be? Gil was undoubtedly thrilled with the situation (which was the literal case over the phone half an hour ago), but aside, there's really no way he could do this.

He winced, letting up on the grasp he had clasped combed through his grown bangs. Today just . . . really wasn't the day. And he'd honestly rather be doing anything now but paperwork. He sighs, reluctantly reaching for his phone as it vibrates along the edge of his desk, adjusting his glasses as he unlocks it to read a new text from Gil.

_-I'm coming up the elevator now, Birdie. To the twelfth or fourteenth floor?_

He smiles, texting back the twelfth before slipping out of the room toward the nearest elevator doubtless where Gil would show up, smiling bigger at the forward reply,

_-Awesome_

It didn't take long before the doors separated, pinging on the aforementioned floor as Gil stepped out of the elevator's interior, not in his usual work attire, Matthew predictably wrapped in his arms on instinct. The blonde giggled, finding some relaxation in the embrace, reclining against the chapped but smooth pair of lips on his own before appropriately pulling away at the increasing amount of stares they were getting.

"So," was Gilbert's start in serving an alternative. "Zhis questionnaire thing . . ."

"A-all set up," Matthew squeaked, still in the process of gathering himself after the kiss, face red. "T-turns out the queen wanted us to do it from a number of accounts from different social networks," he laughs. "Fortunately though, I was able to talk her down to just, er, having us use a shared Tumblr account, so we'd have a more narrow domain to acknowledge versus . . . tons of others all at once."

Gil nodded, hands stuck in his pockets as they both vacantly headed back for Matthew's office.

"So vhen do ve start?"

Matthew sighed, the beginning of an apologetic smile on his face as the fingertips to either of his index fingers prodded at one another. "Now actually," he explains. "I was just waiting on you. The thing is, she wants us to do this over a network where we can record our answers. Preferably through video."

"_Ja_?"

"So then . . . that's what we'll be doing," he clarifies, the both of them finally making it to the office, Matthew heading straight for his Apple desktop he never would have estimated having an adjacent purpose like this until now. "We'll answer the questions just like that, upload them to our dashboard, done."

He spun to face gilbert in his chair, his attitude slightly lifted now that he actually had Gil here with him. He still wasn't absolutely okay with this, but what choice did he have?

"Alright, kesesesese~!"

Matthew blinked as he set up the Facetime application onscreen, blushing slightly at his mirror appearance (though he looked fine), Gil maneuvering so he appeared too beside him.

"S-so now," he gulped. "We just . . . have a look at our dashboard, eh." He quickly opened Safari, easily typing in the designated URL and blinking at the dashboard, letting go a sigh of relief. Thankfully the project still had contract attention seeing as how sudden this all was, and likely the default minimal amount of interest people had in them in general. For now at least.

"We've just got one so far. From . . ." he paused as he read the user's name. "Paxton-means-peace."

"Awesome! Vhat'd zhey ask?"

Matthew rolled his eyes behind the beam of the screen on his glasses. Predictable Gil would be excited over even just a single question.

"Well it's a little lengthy . . . so maybe we should take turns answering. They've two for either of us back-to-back, then one for both of us."

Gil, way too excited about all this in the first place, equally resizes both tabs so either is at the left and right of the monitor, that way they can read the questions on one side of the screen, recording on the other.

After some adjustments, Matthew nods for the recording to start, stomach queasy as he sputters over a proper introduction.

"Eh . . ._ Bonjour_-"

"_Hallo_, kesesesese~!"

"Y-yes, and hello to, uhm, others . . . who . . . d-don't speak Canadian French, and, well . . . uhm, English at all for . . . for some of you."

This is a disaster.

"I-I probably should have said this first, but uhm, Q-Queen Elizabeth II has asked that my boyfriend Gilbert, a-and myself, er, participate in a project questionnaire for the benefit of myself and formal Germany's nationalism. Further details and description can be found below, or in the tags, which we'll be sure to add, eh. So uhm . . ." he glances over. "Our first question is from user Paxton-means-peace, who goes on to ask,"

_Canada: what is the most embarassing thing Gil has ever caught you doing?_

_Prussia: Would you take over Canada if it meant becoming a country again?_

_Canada: Has Gil ever done anything to Kuma, like dip him in maple syrup?_

_Prussia: Has Canada ever done anything cute with Gilbird?_

_Both: What song describes you?_

Matthew blushes, elbowing the albino in the ribs as his cackling starts.

"Zhat's definitely more of a qvestion for me."

"W-well that's too bad, because it's for me," Matthew whispers leant slightly toward the Prussian before straightening again. "And I'd have to say . . . as far as what _I_remember in hindsight, Gil has . . . caught me . . . asleep weirdly I guess maybe a few times," he shrugs, which prompts Gil's prominent laughing again.

"Zhat time I found you sleeping in my jacket stark naked underneath it last month."

"Gil!"

"Vould I take over Canada if it meant becoming a country again? It doesn't really vork zhat vay. Zhe closest I could come to ultimate control vould be as a dictator or something anyvay."

"Next question. Has Gil done anything to Kuma-" he thinks, blinking. "Oh, my bear. Uhm, I-I don't think so. And . . . would hope not."

"It fucking_ talks_!_ Nein_, ve keep our distance. Birdie interacts vith Gilbird zough a lot more zhan me und his bear do. He vent out und bought him a decorative nest for vhen I leave him here in Quebec to do some shit for Vest-"

"Your language, Gil . . ."

"Und zhere's other stuff zhey do, but ja, zhat's pretty much zhe gist of it."

Matthew smiles at the last question, chewing his bottom lip in thought. "I've serious appreciation for Florence and The Machine and some of Adele's things," he giggles, fingers back to prodding at themselves as his cheeks tint. "And don't look now but, I've liked Paramore for a while too. But of those, if I had to pick one song, it'd probably be . . ." he thought. "Adele's 'Hometown Glory'. It's just . . . got . . . relatable emotion."

Gilbert was faster (also predictable), already convinced and ready. "I've been listening to zhese guys since forever. If you haven't at least even heard of OOMPH!, you should start looking. Listen to zheir 'Labyrinth' hit. Zhat's got me written all over it."

Matthew giggles, looking into the camera. "And that's the first portion done. Er," Lavender eyes shift as he thinks of what else to cover. Acknowledgments? "_Merci_and thank you to Paxton-means-peace for your questions, and to future contributors also. We . . . uh, hope to be doing this . . . soon? Uhm . . ."

"Ask us more qvestions if you vant," Gil steps in. "Und ve'll get back to zhem at zhe earliest convenience."

"Uh, yeah. Etcetera, etcetera, hehe._ Au revoir et merci beaucoup._"

Gil laughed at the near collapse Matthew had as he stopped the recording, sympathetically kissing the Canadian's forehead. "Vasn't zhat bad, Birdie."

There's silence for all of fifteen seconds as the blonde is quite literally headdesk'd, sitting up only to pout up at the Prussian. "Can we get something to eat? I really missed you and I'm starving."

* * *

**A/N - **Gah, danke to Paxton-means-peace for being the first reviewer/contributor to this questionnaire :D I'm dead-tired now. This took . . . like an hour to type since I'm just wingin' it xD I apologize for (actual) spelling errors if they've somehow surfaced in here. In advance, there is no actual Tumblr account for these two I have set up anywhere at all for the questionnaire. Tumblr was just a random domain I figured they would use verse-wise.

**[French] -** _Bonjour:_ Hello  
**[German] - **_Hallo:_ Hello  
**[German] - **_Nein:_ No  
**[German] - **_Ja:_ Yes  
**[French] -**_ Merci:_ Thank you  
**[French] -**_ Au revoir et merci beaucoup:_ Goodbye and thank you so/very much


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer -** Hetalia _ist nicht meins_ (Axis Powers_ oder_ World Series)._ Schade._  
**Rules/Guidelines -** I don't have limits put up or in mind at the moment. Go crazy with the questions (Rating K-M). And there's been a change of plan: I said before that I'd prefer it if all questions were basically/at least predominantly PruCan related, but I thought about it, and I think it'd be fun for Mattie and Gil to answer questions on the subject of pretty much anyone or other pairings. So it's settled. Ask anything :D

* * *

Gil cringed as he watched the blonde he'd been dating for an approaching year ruthlessly tearing halfway into a customized 6-inch Sub, lips twitching bemusedly at random at the mess Matthew was obviously making of his face; cheeks inflated with the mass of how much of the sandwich he was at some points hyperbolically inhaling.

"You look like your _bruder_," he laughs, awkwardly sipping at his Coke (because it's hard to inhale and laugh at once) adjacent the latter in the booth they were seated at.

Stains proceeded to darken the Canadian's cheeks as he attempts a foreseeable "Shut up!", obviously muffled though and hardly legible, which anyhow doesn't faze Gil at all, as he sets down his Coke after another long drag, still lacking a reaction even as Matthew takes his own sip from it.

"Kesesese~! Forget to eat vhile I vas gone, Birdie?"

He frowns (ironically while still nursing the remainder of the Coke), rolling his eyes as he finally sets the empty cup on the table again. "No. I skipped lunch."

Gil didn't buy it - or rather his laughing implied it; Matthew self-consciously wiping a bit of stray mustard from his chin, gazing almost disappointed at the now Sub-less wrapping paper in front of him. Was it . . . really all gone already?

"I'm just joking, Birdie," he chuckles, reaching for the now mostly empty Coke. "I'll get you anozer if you vant."

The blonde blinks, smiling as he shakes his head. He stands, again finding the need to stretch before tossing the trash, empty bags and such. "It's okay," he shrugs. "I'll live. I really wanna get home for a nap anyway right about now."

"Not even gonna give me _any_ since I'fe been back?"

Matthew'd been getting better at this - depriving Gil of this 'any' in similar (sportive) scenarios - with notable increasing quality.

"Eh?" He jabs, the two making their way through the lobby to the exit, Matthew alternating to walk backwards occasionally as to torment Gil from a more substantial point of view; lavender eyes hooded and glasses removed for the most part (or at least removing them gradually). "How long have you been gone again? I forget."

He's suddenly on the receiving end of counteracting with twitching lips and an anxious giggle as he tries to hold back from laughing at the frowning albino, Gil fishing his pants pockets for the keys to the latter's jeep.

"Are you serious? Like two veeks."

"Like?" He giggles. Damn. Well there that goes.

"Like _a_ veek," he scoffs, a smirk threatening at Gil's own lips as he watched the intentional sway of the Canadian's hips as he's suddenly faced with the back of the blonde once again.

"Mm-hm. Think a week apart calls for sex?"

* * *

It does. Indefinitely. Or so it would have.

"Ignore it."

"I can't, Gi- mmh . . . This could be impor-"

"It's not, Birdie."

Forward, the blonde currently struggled to surface his own commentary in between what spontaneous and heated snogging had jump-started anon as the two made their way through his large log home; Gil stripped down to achievable nothing; Matthew's pants progressively meeting their own undoing (Pun? Pun.) as the latter's just about ripping them from his slender legs.

"You don't know that thou- mnff . . ."

"I know I vanna have _sex_ vith you right now."

"Just . . . " He sighs, pants tossed unimportantly across the room. "Let me check? Really, really, really quick?"

Oh, was he going to owe this man. Big time.

"Are you serious? Zhis is more important zhan me?"

"_S'il vous plaît?_" Matthew pouts, punctuating the situation with legs wrapped around the Prussian's waist, arms around his neck, kisses tender and smooth with some feigned innocence (and full intention to manipulate the latter's compromise).

He smiles at the reluctant "Fine" later, lightly pecking the Prussian's nose as he's let down, collecting and digging through his pants for his phone, skimming the multiple (work affiliated) notifications for the one he'd heard earlier.

"See, I told you we'd have more questions." He grins in Gil's direction, obviously happy he was right. "Uhm . . ." he squints, a hand coming up to adjust his glasses as customary - if he were even wearing them. "We have two new ones actually." He perks. "Wasn't expecting that, eh- Gil! You could at least let me read them-"

"I'm gonna kiss you. Zhen strip you. Und ve're gonna have sex."

The blonde sighed, a hand exasperatedly clasped to his forehead. "Gil, may I please have my phone back?"

"As soon as I'fe had you on zhe balcony, sure, vhy not."

"Gil . . ."

* * *

**A/N** **-** I hate it! Dx I'm so sorry for those who were expecting answers to their questions. I didn't get lazy, I swear (or intend to end it this way). Like I said, I'm just wingin' it, and this is definitely a filler. I don't even know why I'm putting this up. It's such a waste of time and . . . eiofwjioegwhoireejwpiw! If you guys hate it, I understand. Questions will be answered next chapter, though. I truly am sorry for this bullshit update. I _do_ plan to have a surprise for you guys though - and _have_ had it in mind even before the first chapter - that should be revealed . . . soon. Just bear with me.

**[German]** - _Bruder:_ Brother  
**[French]** -_ S'il vous plaît:_ Please


End file.
